well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
