the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
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