i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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