it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
