so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
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