i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
