brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
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I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
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That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Oh god it's open bar.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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