so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
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