I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
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Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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