these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Alive.
So much puke
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
