I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Randomize
