Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize