i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize