i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
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Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
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Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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