My liver just broke up with me...
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
