Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I think weed is turning my hair brown
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
