Who wears a wallet chain?!
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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