is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
