I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
