hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
