my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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