if you like me you must not know who I am
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
