I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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