Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Randomize
