walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
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