I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
