You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Can Purell be used as lube?
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
