I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
