I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
