No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
