Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
