I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
