Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
