What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
My vagina just recognized that song.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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