I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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