Say something about gay babies.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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