i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize