where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
