Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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