yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
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