I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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