do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
