im gay
i know
yea but for you.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
