I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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