you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
