No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
