i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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