Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
