remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
