How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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