i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
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