I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
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Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
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Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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