she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
