oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Are my feet made of real feet?
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
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