check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
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