I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Randomize
