problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
